“Everyone is so focused on the fact that I’m alive and have survived and I feel like I should feel grateful. I want people to acknowledge that things are still really difficult.”

Yvonne O’ Meara - Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist

“People mean well when they state the obvious (‘you are alive-count yourself lucky!’). This can diminish the negative lingering feelings that cancer can leave behind. It is perfectly ok, if you feel comfortable to share that while you acknowledge this, it has impacted you in all sorts of ways, which may not be obvious to others. Then you might share some of these difficulties that you are experiencing. Not everyone can cope with these types of conversations so choose your audience wisely!”

“I can’t answer phone calls or text because of the anxiety since I started treatment. It has been two years since I’ve completed treatment. Is this normal?”

See IACP.ie

Yvonne O’ Meara - Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist

“I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing anxiety that is impacting how you live your life two years later. If you did not experience this before your diagnosis, then this is not normal for you. I would encourage you to talk to a therapist that works within the area of oncology who can help you look at what is causing the anxiety.”

“What are the main sexual issues that occur with low mental health after a cancer diagnosis?”

See sextherapists.ie

Yvonne O’ Meara - Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist (only from a female perspective) 

“Women can experience the following sexual issues with low mental health

• Lack of desire

• Painful sex (Dyspareunia)

• Unable to have an orgasim (Anorgasima)

• Vaginal dryness”

“What are the main relationship issues that occur with low mental health after a cancer diagnosis?”

Yvonne O’ Meara - Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist

“If you are experiencing low mood/depression post a cancer diagnosis and it is ongoing for longer than two weeks, you should consider speaking to your GP and/or treating team to see what is the best option for you. Relationships change as a result of cancer, couples can become closer or more distant. It can make previous cracks in relationships better initially and then after a new norm is established, can make them worse. It is important to look at what is contributing to your low mood. It can cause a distance between you and your partner both in and outside the bedroom if not addressed. It can be helpful to go to couples counseling and work on the issue together as well as individually. Remember it is always good to talk and it is never as bad as it seems.”