Q & A
These questions were suggested by people in Ireland who have been impacted by cancer.
The answers were collected from experts based in Ireland.
“I don’t recognise myself when I look in the mirror. How can I start feeling confident again?”
Yvonne O’ Meara Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist:
“The aftermath of cancer can have both visible and invisible scars. Not only does it impact us physically but also emotionally. It is important to pause and recognise what you and your body has been through. Confidence comes in many forms. I would invite you to think about your confidence levels before the cancer. Now think about what you have been through and how resilient you are. Cancer leaves its mark and the unpredictable nature of it can cause much uncertainty. However it can be helpful to think about the areas of your life that are within your control and start to optimize this space. This can increase your confidence levels.Looking at your self-confidence is an important aspect in your recovery as it can be the gateway to your emotional wellness. If you find you are experiencing low confidence do this following checklist:
Be open and honest to those around you about how the cancer has impacted you
Engage in talk therapy if needed
Set small achievable goals on a daily, weekly and monthly basis
Each day spend time working towards these goals. If these goals are too difficult, adjust them.
Recognise what you have achieved since cancer came into your world
Be proud of your achievements and celebrate them.”
“What are the main body image issues that affect sex after cancer?”
Yvonne O’ Meara Psychosocial Oncologist & Systemic Psychotherapist:
“Experiencing altered body image can be difficult. Following a cancer diagnosis most people will experience physical changes. Think about your relationship with your body before cancer? How was it then and how has it changed now? Some changes will be treatment induced and short term but some will have long term effects. You may not anticipate these changes and you may be unsure where to find help and may find it embarrassing to talk about what you are experiencing. You are not alone. Surgery can lead to physical changes such as scars, pain, hormonal changes, loss of fertility, menopause, erectile dysfunction, altered nerve sensation and sometimes surgery can result in the formation of a stoma (opening on the surface of the abdomen to allow exit of bowel contents). Chemotherapy can cause hair loss, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, altered sensation in hands and feet. All these changes can have an impact on how you feel about yourself and your relationships.
What to do?
Self-affirmation. Note down some messages of positivity, things that you like about your physical self or that make you feel good. Place them around the house, on your mirror. This can help to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Notice when you start judging yourself based on your weight, shape, or appearance. Ask yourself if there are any other qualities you could look for when these thoughts come up. It can be challenging to disrupt this negative pattern of thinking, but being mindful plays a vital role, and the first step is acknowledging what you are doing. Ask yourself this: would you speak to a friend or loved one the way you talk to yourself?
Surround yourself with positive influences, for example friends and family who like you just as you are!
Social media detox. Social media is not the safest place to be for any length of time, particularly if you are experiencing negative thoughts around body image or if you are susceptible to drawing comparisons. You may want to delete and unfollow a few pages if they make you question or compare your body image.
We hear a lot about being kinder to others and yourself, but it is true. Having a cancer is challenging, give yourself the credit that you deserve and be kind to you and your body.”